Safety Net Alliance

Anxiety is a daily meal for many of us. To make it more palatable, try out this technique.

Let me give you an example:

Scenario: Your boss puts an unexpected meeting on your calendar and you worry they might criticize you or your work.

Mental Preparation: A grounding exercise before the meeting.

“I am not a child anymore. My boss is not my parent. I can handle feedback without it defining my worth. Even if they criticize something I did, it does not mean I am bad or unworthy. I am capable of learning and adapting.”

Possible scripts for the meeting:

1. Response to criticism: “I hear what you’re saying. I want to improve. Can you clarify what you’d like to see done differently?”
2. Response to overwhelming or unfair criticism: “I want to make sure I fully understand your concerns. Can we walk through specific examples together? That will help me know exactly what needs to change.”
3. Response to boss venting their problems: “I hear you – it sounds really frustrating. Let me know if there is something specific I can do to help with this.”
4. Response to a condescending tone: “I want to make sure we are on the same page. Can you clarify what specifically you would like changed?”
5. Response to micromanagement: “I am happy to keep you updated, but also want to make sure I have the space to handle this effectively. Is there something about my work that is not meeting your expectations?

In closing, encounters with authority figures can trigger deep fears of rejection, failure, or feeling “not good enough”. Stress scripting can help you prepare for the conversation in a way that helps you react with intention. By planning ahead, you can help prevent your wounded inner child from running the show.